breakthrough

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town?:)

2011-12-23T03:53:00.000-08:00

Its going to a Christmas day tomorrow;.so I guess it means that New Year's eve is coming. I don know if any people out there reading my blog , or observing me by using any internet access or whatever you call it, anyway just want to tell you guys that, my blog of style won't be my lifestyle anymore but all will be about food or maybe my working life:)

I might start to upload some tempting foods and all:) Well, have you guys ready for Christmas, exchanging presents , and have a meat feast? or perhaps making comfort foods , like sugar with egg whites, butter and cream , mix and whisk and there you go, some pastry going on eyh?:) or talking about the people you celebrating with, either friends or family.

I promised one of my best friend, well she's not consider as my friend, cause she's me, my other soul:) , that I would write any poems that I have for her. I would not say every single day, but when the ideas of writing come, then I would present to her:) I know it;s a little too late, but at I start better than never right? oh by the way, I really miss her mash potatoes. I might go to her house to have it again:)

hello again

2011-10-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

hello again:)
let me count how long since I've not been writing posts for blogs.
hmmm..very long XD
nowadays, i watched all the music videos from this korean show,
it calls " scent of a woman"
its about a woman has diagnosed some dying disease, she quits her job and everything to spend her 3 months life to have a beautiful vacation.
then there's this handsome man she met in this vacation,
feeling something sparkling between both, something warm , something just..there.

well, imagine you're a person who is dying ,
will you risk yourself from being hurting yourself or hurting others thoroughly by falling in love?
falling in love is no wrong,
falling in love is not putting in prison.

yes,its painful that to be hurt in both sides.
but at least the pain that burns in heart,
is a reminder where reminds us the feeling that we used to have,
and the existence of the warmth and love.

hmm, enough for the nonsense,
today i just had my video commercial shooting for rough cut presentation.
I think this is the most productive stuff that I can ever do,
I'm the director of art and the script writer.
so when during the shot, my job is working with the photographer,
checking every scenes which is on my mind, and also have to demo all the actions infront of the casts.
how weary that could be?

and I think director's job is very very highly respected.
well it should be, but i just know that ,all they do is using their most "beautiful" voice and say
" camera rolling , floor silence, and action!"
well, after that, then" cut!" , what they do, is being as a boss, approve this approve that.
while the other position would be like worrying this and that and even do MORE than the director.
boss has the authority to have a better life and get treated nicely,
which i found its kind of unfair and almost ridiculous.
anyone is working? you would be willing joining me to curse them?:D

about handling the casts, i have to say that i chose wrongly,
shouldn't choose the ppl that are quite close to me,
because all they know is asking the time duration of shooting.
well, whenever they ask that i would feeling like banging my head to the wall.
how would i know the exact time as in like i can predict something.
and never ever skip from complaining.

aiks, well, i have no rights to say this, everyone has their own objectives and i have mine.
so when we view things differently, we judge things differently.

okay, enough for those craps,
right now staying at home alone,
facing the four-squared computer as in like im having interpersonal communication with it, haha.
didn't really get to eat dinner because fetched all the casts back home till 7 something already,
and knowing that my mom is not going to prepare dinner,
after all the sweats have no choice, got to bathe,
then watch TV for awhile and fell asleep, when i wake up its already 10,
so comes to conclusion, I don get to eatXD

okay, have to do assignments now,
the re-do assign since there are many groups hand up, and only one group passed.
life's is not going to be beautiful for you
so ciao:D

aint no more.

2011-09-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am living in my own world , if now you ask me, that I'm happy or not.

I may and I may not.
I"m getting sick of my own life,
and trying find something still brings me up,
to light myself up.
all by myself i guess?
well, good to be dependent.
stuck a needle in my ass.
i can still feel the pain in hell,
and smell the bloody scent.

happy birthday to you:)

2011-08-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

hey you, happy birthday.
I really want to wish you today.
but i don have the guts.
where i'll remember everything happpened last year at the same day.

i don want to make anything more complicated.
not anymore.

movie time

2011-08-13T08:27:00.001-07:00

my current favorite movie:)

FYI, favorite not because is something alike to my story,

but it just awesome:)

rate this 7.7 out of 10:D

movie time

2011-08-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

who knows.

2011-08-13T07:38:00.001-07:00

It's August.

summertime and rainy days at the same time?:)

happy birthday to all August babies!:D

oh, and him of course:)

just went back from somewhere and I think he had great fun there.

met some new interesting friends of course.

I hope he's fine and everything's fine.

hmmm..

the piano exam is coming very soon.

It's gonna be on next Tuesday.

venue is at Shah Alam Wave Blue Hotel.

I don know how to describe how I feel.

but yet what I know is,

I'm really want this so much.

to finish what I've started.

I remember when I was a kid,

I don't really know what piano was really for.

not when I saw my sister playing it,

sounds came out rhythmically,

that's the time when I know the real purpose of it.

It's for entertainment ,

or you can say accompaniment for singing.

I can say it's my " emotions releasing machine".

when I feel something,

my hands just want to touch the surface of the keys and press it.

"ding.." there, the sound just produced.

when I feel angry,

the tone is more to a mess, untidy, rushing and fast tempo.

when I miss someone,

every beat of it is like flowing water,

played like Chopin.

I really hate and like playing at the same time.

well, it's common.

no perfection exists in this world,

not you want to be an alien, or robot or some creatures heh:D

I see things more,

and learn understanding, explaining, valuing.

people always remain good or focus,

when they discovered something that is not what they expected.

and when they discovered , like finally.

they just let the final results freeze,

and never ever bothers it.

this same goes to human being behavior and act.

what I wanna do is,

i want to create something,

that makes great impact on other people's life.

at the same time on mine.

I want to create something unforgettable,

unpredictable,

add some mysteries alike teasers,

and something people will feel and agree.

I don't know what's my future is,

but what i know is,

when I'm asked to give some ideas and create something.

I just feel the whole world is magical and exciting.

my mind and soul right now,

completely hand in to my own future.

only this,

nothing else is on my mind.

which I'm glad:)

being stressed.

2011-08-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm really stress up right now.

every nerves in my body is like flowing vigorously.

I can't sleep well and even suddenly awake at late nights.

kind of bothers me that I have to face the biggest challenge.

I have face my fear,

which is my piano exam gonna coming soon in two weeks time.

I'm not really ready for it.

when I play it,

I don't feel it.

and when I feel to play it,

it doesn't sound like what it should be.

aiks.

this is completely a disaster.

plus, it's 8th grade.

I have to pass , and parents keep nagging and pressuring.

omg..

my head is going to burst burst burst..

gahee:DD

2011-07-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

I love running,
so this is my favourite activity during my one month holiday:)
oh and my relationship with my old friend is getting closer.
I'm so happy:D

2011-06-18T10:43:00.001-07:00

being fat is a symbol of happiness.
but the this is not the actual one, I think.
because for me,
being fat is a symbol of stress and not adapt to the new environment.

ahhhhhhh. Im a fatty now, haha:DD

Hello again

2011-06-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm currently preparing for my end term exam.

I hate myself doing this,

because I will become the version of ignorant and depression of myself.

stress is what I have right now.

But it keeps me working ahead, so I guess I have no authority to take that awayXD

My friends would be thinking that they were not really cherished.

Well, that's not true.

Business is the problem so I don think I can explain much.

Another thing, I hate explaining.
Well I don't mind unless you have the heart to accept what I say.

If you don't, sorry to say.
I don't give a damn.

Hectic life as usual,

not only for me, for people, human being, whatever:D

It feels good to do something that you never done once in your life,

and learn something that almost unbelievably incredible.

EEk, I don't like facebook.
Hate it.

NO privacy, hate it.

It's like you want to have a simple conversation with your friends,

the whole world know the contents .

Isn't that a little interfering other people's business?

I guess I might wanna date guys who can make pastry.

Just joking, finding some way to learn to bake though.

I find cupcakes intriguing when I watched D.C cupcakes at channel 711.

It was like so tempting.

Plus, I want to learn how to do sushi.

I made it once in Guo Zhang's house ,

now I've completely forgot how to do it.pffft.

okay okay.

I don't know why I'm still posting up when I should be studying.
well now, it's time to say goodbye.

and round 2! I'm coming:)

end term's coming soon.

2011-06-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so nervous right now.
i hope that i can score out of what I expected.
I'm going make myself proud and never fail.
Strive to the end baby!

Woots!

wish me luck

2011-05-15T06:31:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is the day.
going to have my driving test.
what i need is a little bit of luck,
and i'll do at my very best:)

this time,
i have to pass my driving test,
this time, for sure.

god bless me,
let things happen in flow,
without any obstacles.

and yea,
im going to boost up the confidence,
i haveto know what im doing,
and i have to know,
i am the one who control the car,
not the car make me nervous and acting stupidly.

woosh! kampade!

may is spring.

2011-05-15T02:34:00.001-07:00

yea, it's may now.

it means spring,

hot weather but a friendly one, i think.

national service is activated by this month i suppose.

and this makes him going there for 3 months.

3 months of practice is going to be fun,

you're going to love it, because i know you will.

i saw Chris back then ,

he was tanner than before and more muscular,

so i was wondering, will you become a real man when you return from there?

try not to fall sick,

have a strong will to keep everything in flow.

and yea,

i really wish that you're happy there,

and i know you'll make some new friends.

this also means that there are not only guys but girls too:)

you know what?

i've never been so satisfied when i get to do things with my own will and act.

i helped my friend for a video shooting,

which i became a camera woman.

it's like a magic, when you handle a camera,

you see things differently and clearer.

im really happy to do something that i never done before.

and my english assignment was a great success.

my lecturer mostly gave me positive feedbacks.

for all my hardwork, worth it:D

i miss you, i still do.

people always say that , time is all matters.

yea, it is,

it's like a test for us, and i do trust destiny.

i believe one day,

we will meet again,

and when we meet,

i wish you will give me the most beautiful, spontaneous smile:)

english assignment 3

2011-05-03T04:30:00.000-07:00

so, tomorrow is the day:]

my third english assignment , presenting claims.

for the past three events, i just keep getting 6/10.

it's very frustrating because when you get to know that your standard remain the same,

it means you can hardly have space for improvements:/

so, i'll be praying hard this time.

i really really want some improvement,

please let everything happens in flow tomorrow.

i don't want any errors occur or distractions.

i have to boost up my confidence and speak in front of my classmates.

gahh,, stage fright is one of the disasters.
my class are way too much pressures.
all genius , and you ain't gonna beat them.
very competitive eyh? tell me who doesn't:)

i miss my old life,
im getting fat, omfg.
like a pig right now, but in a good way,
why would i care when there's no one officially likes me?
don't you feel happy when you eat?
i do:)

im gotta practice my presentation,
and try to organize as much as i can.
ciao!:D

love is never ugly

2011-04-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

have you watched beastly?

i know it's like the past century disney movies"beauty and the beast."

but hey, i still want to watch.

i want to see the spell casted.

i want to see how the girl fall in love with the guy.

i want to see how the girl can bear with the ugliness which the guy has the appearance of a beast.

i want to see how the spell break.

and yes, happy ending?

but truthfully,it does happens in our lifes too. people are realistic , not just human being but also kinds of creature. do you really fall in love with someone who's ugly, sometimes, i myself dare not,but who knows? some people in this world still love the inner side but not only for the appearance. it's about the faith and destiny. well, with that fact, i'm quite in mist. do you?looking forward to watch this movie, with my friends:)

2011-04-02T01:36:00.000-07:00

i was wondering how's your life and what you've been doing.

i'm doing good and always stress about my paperworks.

it's been a long time i didn't talk to you.

i don know how long is that but it's like half of the year that we don even say hi.

i don't expect anything special happens and i don't want to make you feel guilty.

im actually healed.

i don't plan to have a new one.

a pure friendship is now im finding for.

i feel peace and free.

you should find one who can actually gives you happiness.

i will wish you with all my heart.

2011-03-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

i miss watching dramas and movies.

i miss having sports.

hectic life eyh?

not such a good idea.

damn tiring!!

2011-03-24T05:46:00.000-07:00

live high, live mighty, live righteously.

this is what i've been telling myself:)

2011-03-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

i should stop living in your world.

i should let go for what i can hardly keep.

you did the right thing:)

as long as you feel happy.

that wont hurt me that much.

My Love

2011-03-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

My love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

leave you blind.

My love,

you have found peace,

you were searching,

for relief.

you gave it all,

into the call,

you took a chance and,

you took a fall for us.

you came thoughtfully,

love me faithfully,

you taught honor,

you did it for me.

tonight you will sleep for good,

you will wait for me my love.

now i'm strong,

you gave me all,

you gave all you had,

and now i'm home.

My love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

leave you blind.

my love,

look what you can do,

i am mending,

i'll be with you.

you took my hand,

added a plan,

you gave me your heart,

i asked you to dance with me.

you loved honestly,

did what you could release.

i know in peace you go,

i hope relief is yours,

now i am strong,

you gave me all,

you gave all you had,

and now i am home.

my love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

i'll be with you.

Xuan Yu's birthday party

2011-03-17T05:40:00.000-07:00

so long

2011-03-15T02:12:00.001-07:00

i miss you.

do you?

the devil inside calling

2011-03-15T01:58:00.000-07:00

doop.doop.doop.

as the clock is moving, i wish i have the super power to make it stop.

i was waiting for the malaysian studies exam to start.

first section, second section and the fourth section is is okay with me but the third one , im not so sure.

well well,

it was actually better than moral education.

well, after all the exams,

i still have some important stuff in hands,

i have to finish my malaysian studies and moraleducation assignments by this end of march.

i was freaking tired man.

okay okay,

i think im very lazy to blog now.

i should get going.

watch anime:DD yeah:D

pumping.

2011-03-12T01:46:00.002-08:00

do you know driving can make human's blood circulation flows in speed way?

yeap, the fact is so true.

whenever i was driving,

my tension and confusion increase in no time.

and that makes me nervous and kept me sweat all the time.

it was 3 o'clock afternoon.

my teacher drop by at my house,

he lead me drive on high way,

OH MY GOD. first time driving on high way.

it was actually thrilling but yet scary.

hmmm. the clutch thing is actually driving me crazy.

the gear just can't co-operate with the clutch fluently.

well, whom i'm going to blame for ?

i just have to get the driving skills practically.

okay. so i was driving,

the teacher beside me keep talking and instructing me what to do.

i followed and it was good at first.

but looking at the other cars driving ,

it makes me feel stupid.

the worst was, i got horned by some other idiots who don't understand at all.

alright then, i just have to take practice and practice with the clutch thing and all.

bear in mind,

you just have to deal with the impossibilities.

oh, today's Chei Ling's birthday.

i need to apologize that i didn't get to celebrate with you since i promised you that i will.

well, still i hope you be a happy-go-lucky person at all times:)

have a blast!!:D

p.s.youknowilovedyouandnowistilldo.

do you knoe me?

2011-03-09T04:36:00.000-08:00

hello, stranger.
since you say hi in sudden but still you're a stranger to me.
i talked to you for a few minutes, it didn't mean that we really know each other.
a true friend doesn't have to be in this way.
well, it makes me feel disgusting somehow,
despite i talked to you in normal way just don't make you suspect anything wrong,
but i'm just feeling escape is the only way.

you keep saying: so erm, do you wanna come out and meet up?
haih.. a guy friend is good. but it seems like meeting up a stranger is such danger,
i don't want myself to take risks,
and don't want my friend worry about me.

so i choose to ignore.
the first thing i do is,
* run, run , run , run ,run..
* devil run run devil run..
hahha:DD

okay, finish laming.
and release something that bothers me is somehow soothing:)

2011-03-06T00:12:00.000-08:00

well well well.
i think my blog is officially dead.
BUT i want it to be alive again, hehs.

I'm relieved that media appreciation's assignment is done.
i was thinking of taking some break but there are more is coming up.
i'm tired and it's actually great because you're not wasting your time to do something reckless.
I listen John Meyer and Taylor's Swift's song nowadays.
their genre is almost similar, that's why i love them so much:D
And thanks to Zoe, I'm one of the Anime fans. hmmm, Maid Sama is great.

I was heading somewhere that i'm not used to be.
and there are times that i want to turn my back but that is why people saying" keep looking forward."
i miss my friends , not only primary ones but also secondary ones.
i was wondering what they are all up to.
i can hardly remember every single memories with them but happiness is the only thing i found.

oh. i;m getting fat.
i just don't understand why foods are so tempting that makes everyone wants more.
when people talking, the thing i only do is eat eat eat:DD
but eating is good, stress released.

okay, finished babbling something lame.
just feel typing,
and now i guess it's time to do my another assignment which is the Intro to mass com.
aiks, once again,
college life is sucks.

p.s. iwanttotalktoyoubutwhereshouldistart. i wish you know what I'm trying to say.

help me

2011-02-23T05:44:00.000-08:00

give me a break.
please? I'm weary till can't feel myself.

you know what?

2011-02-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

I feel pleasant when i hand up my first assignment-English.
well, i wish i can get good marks from Mr.Antoon:)
first thing first, i have to talk about my class.
well, my classmates are always in a hyper mood and wacky at all times.
their favorite is camwhoring i suppose.
so you can see that i have bunch of pictures in my facebook profile.
but taking picture with new friends are great:)
well, mass communication can teach a person to be sociable.
telling the truth that i'm not really good at it but at least when i try, i really do learn how to social.
one of my classmates, Charlie.
She's smart, gorgeous, observant and funny. She's very kind to you when sometimes you feel helpless at something.Never say she's pretty, because she'll be blushing straight. ain't doubt that the face is as red as tomatoes:D

another new friend, Diandra.
She's random, pretty, winsome, and can be lame sometimes:)
She's very tall, taller than me. well i used to be the tallest girl in my class when im in high school but i just can't deny that her height made my life miserable:D
oh and her close friend, Chia Syin.
She's like Diandra, so friendly. and when you look at her, the only thing you can see is a girl with spontaneous smile that can made your day:) oh, she's an awesome photographer too:D

hey hey. you there?
if you're there, i wish that you can see i'm moving on well:)
and one more thing,
i wish you live your life to the fullest,
since you're nowhere that i can see,
i still wish you are happy,
because that's what matters to me:)

you love a person doesn't mean you have to own them,
that's what im saying:)

assignments

2011-02-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

The first assignment that we really have to pass it up in two days time- english.
pfft. My english teacher is a weird guy i have to say. Everything that comes out from his mouth is rather weird and somehow we get annoyed. Everytime when we finish his lesson, the first thing that popped out is " what was he saying just now??" * give a noob face*

The second one is my favorite overall, Media Appreciation.
talking bout the video takings, and about movie reviews and lots more.

I'll be busy i know.
But still i can't and won't forget about my friends.
Cause they're the most precious one to me.

and even him.
no matter how busy i am, i'll still thinking about you.
which is one of the impossibles for you to do the same:)

grown up?

2011-02-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

To tell you the truth, i don't really get used to this new environment.i know i have repeated this several times but yet i just want to release it out.

i heard some people say that " if you can't forget the old ones, how are you even deal with the new ones?" it's not all bout you can or not, it's about you want it or not.Sometimes, i even asking myself that whether i can deal with the new friends, deal with the new environments, deal with the surroundings. can i really manage to do well in taylor's university.can i really play with my old friends like last time instead of meeting up new friends. uggh, i hate that "old" word.

anyways, i miss Soniya. my high school the most wonderful indian girl. she's working at the law's company now i suppose. i can hardly contact her and know her updates. Life is always playing people's faith.

i miss playing games and hanging out with my friends. now i'm currently starting my two assignments which is moral education and malaysian studies.

assignments need a lot of group work and stuff and i don't know whether i'm picking someone right to work with. i just want to get good grades and don't want to let my parents down , and the main is don't wanna waste money.

silence is what i'm doing now, i just can't feel myself. i'm lost now.

what i need is a big hug and some rests.

actually..

2011-02-08T00:02:00.000-08:00

college life.

SUCKS.

it's fun

2011-01-26T22:37:00.000-08:00

it's fun actually.

when you start facing your first assignment.

i believe that will cause my face growing more pimples.

but i have to say that,

my classmates are people who is just like me.

funky. happy. crazy. love games.

we get to know each other very fast.

introduction comes first,

then there's alot of talking going on.

well, i have to say.

great life.

still finding some good friendship in college:)

you know, that's what it calls.

2011-01-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

eyes pain.

it's like something burnong inside,

when i close my eyes,

more worse:/

so nowadays busy about college.

had one week for orientation.

next week starts our programme.

finally:)

but i'm still not get used to the surroundings.

new people, new place, new friends.

imagine you're alone facing all this.

and sometime when it comes to introduction.

there is awkward moment i suppose.

but anyway,

i really have to get used to it eventhough im scared.

because this is the place i may spent 4 years.

yeah, four years.

it's good to start anyway,

there will be more paper works,

that keeping me busy all the time,

and i'm ready to take any challenges.

and do the best that shows initiative and leadership:)

good!

add oil:D

just wanna say hi.

and wanna know how do you do:)

weeee.

2011-01-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

hehs.
i shop for clothes more than one.
bought new clothes,
bought new shoes,
give my hair a haircut and dyed,
everything changed:)

ready to say hi to 2011.
and ready to go for college:)
and i really have to drive,
soon:)

oh oh,
new year's coming ppl:)
have a blast in everyday:D

i wish i can celebrate with you in new year's eve,
which another impossibles:)

busy is real good.

2011-01-09T04:51:00.000-08:00

nowadays being busy about the driving lessons.
my dad keep nagging me,
so i have to take it and complete it as fast as possible.

another hand for college.
I'm choosing foundation in mass communication.
this one will be using one year to finish.
although is a short time to degree.
but must have lots of efforts and will be rushing all the time.
and all the projects, course work and all,
will be making me busy,
which is very suitable for me.
clear my mind, is what i have to do:)

and.
i'm taking back my piano class now,
my teacher told me that i have to speed up.
cause its the last grade and have to be serious.
the exam is coming soon,
so its hard and need more hard work.
similarly, my teacher told me that i have to take double class.
so, yea.
how pathetic it is:D

hmmm..
guess what.
everytime when i sleep,
there's no more dreams occurs.
well, rarely.

cause i'm so tired,
just thinking of sleeping will do but no others.
but sometimes i really wanna chat.
ask that if you're happy or getting well.
but i know,
deep in my heart,
i can't find any possibilities.
and this is it,
i'm still moving on.

i missed you,
cause i can't find a place where i can see you anymore.

owkay

2010-12-31T22:44:00.000-08:00

so this is it,
I'm back:)
back from Taiwan which is so freaking cold,
but overall is okay.

so there is some special things that i wanna share.
and this is about moral:)
you know taiwanese nowadays are so friendly.
that malaysian should learn.
even the toilets at anywhere,
you can see, its clean.

the occupation they have been doing are the serving one.
as you can see that they have practice how to be good in manners.

and they are not lazy.
they rather walk instead of calling cab:/
not like us,
we're just so tired:D

plus, my mom keep asking me to carry the duffel bag around.
gosh, that was heavy like one person.
and the weather is cold,
i wear until like you can't see my face:D

and we keep changing hotels,
so we can see that different type of service.
and their 7 eleven is cool.
and is everywhere.
they have those maggies from korea and japan.
oh, and from their own country.
so you will see that all the clothes and shoes labeled-made in taiwan.
cool right?

and they have so many night markets.
and it's very cheap!
nice and cheap!good:)
and i saw many good-looking guys:))
uh, this is too good to meXD

okay.
hmmm..i guess thats all?
OH!!

forgot to wish all my friends!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it's a new chapter for me:)
i wish everything thing that i do,
can complete my life full of happiness:)

ciao!

p.s. sorry no pics, because it's too ugly:)

last chapter?

2010-12-23T09:12:00.000-08:00

last chapter doesn't mean is the end,
i know someday,
i still believe in miracles,
that even he's not somewhere i can see anymore,

at least,
i know how to say goodbye:)

and,
for me,
that's the end.

heh.

2010-12-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

yes, i want to be pretty again.

and yes,

i'm gonna take my best look to see you again:)

not just for now, but for always.

2010-12-12T00:55:00.000-08:00

you know,
some people, they are afraid to face the fact that they don't wish to be.
and some people who will just do anything to get rid of someone they are afraid of.
but do you know,
when the time you really miss them,
or need to see them.
it's so hard to get back.

some couples,
1st month till 3rd,
in a honeymoon period.
people call it,
love is in the air.
but i call it.
"temporary sweets":D
you know..there are many couples who are scared of losing each other.
so the way of solving it is,
they don't want to think about it.
and they started to ignore.
hmm.i guess that's the best way for them?

and time is a killer.
work is a killer.
why say so?
for example, you can only see your loves one once a week, a month, or a year,
is your love is as deep as the ocean?

working is really good,
to keep you distracted.
and to make you forget the pain of losing someone:)
but when everything is settled,
when you're ready to get some sleep,
you will just simply remember all the memories,
and you even open your eyes,
stare at the ceiling, wish your mind and everything is at blank.

why is it so hard to keep a relationship?
is it maybe that is not the right time?
some people said,
love is a killer too,
it hurt peoples' heart when it can't complete anyone's life.

but when i saw this novel.
it says,

" when i think of you and me and what we shared, i know it would be easy for others to dismiss our time together as simply a by-product of the days and nights spent by the sea, a "fling"that, in the long run,would mean absolutely nothing.when i think of you, i can't help smiling, knowing that you've completed me somehow.there are so much more too.when i close my eyes, i see your face.when i walk , it's almost as if i can feel your hand in mine.those things are still real to me, but where they once brought comfort, now they leave me with an ache."

it's okay you feel the pain when you think of someone,
its okay you feel so scared of losing someone,
it's okay it hurts,
it's okay you cried over someone for so many times,
it's okay that you don feel like letting go.

at least i know,
if you have the will, everything is possible,
and i'll appreciate the every moments,
where i can see you.

and that,
will always in my heart.
now and always :)

i know you want me to forget those memories, i know you don want to hurt me, i know you don want to give any fake hopes, and i know its time to let you go.

its like glass.

2010-11-13T04:16:00.000-08:00

i know,
i know its like a glass.
when you break it,
it will just break into pieces.

i know,
i know it's like a glass,
when you try to put the pieces together
it's still have scars on it,
ugly and sad.

i know,
i know it's like a glass,
know that if you don't touch it,
put it at somewhere contented,
it will not get hurt.

but still,
when you touch it,
it breaks again,
and even more uglier.

you know it's not like a car that can fixed.
it's so fragile.
you need days, months, or years to recover.
and even,
you wanna keep yourself busy, to distract you from minding the hole in it,
but the more force you're using,
the more you feel dying.

i know,
i know it has to be fix.
i know it can still feel the pain.

keep moving.

2010-11-12T01:56:00.000-08:00

"aiya, just keep moving la!"
"haih..just forget bout this, you can move on."
"never mind, just move on, you can do it."

move on.
keep moving.

so hard to do when you say it at ease.
sure, he is moving,

but where would i be?

each and every time.

2010-11-02T01:14:00.001-07:00

just back from school,
felt weary and sad.

i was dizzy,
and almost faint.
my mom gave me wrong medicine,
that was the reason why i looked so weak.

i saw him today at school.
i was happy to see him.
but still,
why i just could not talk to him.
each time i see him,
each time i felt the presence of the hole in my heart,

i wished he could be more direct,
i wished he could be more confidence,
i wished he could be happy.

i want to have a big vacation with my friends;D
i want to have a big party .
of course,
it will happen after SPM.

gosh...
SPM. i think i just can't accept the fact that,
I'm going to get old already!
anyways,
i really hope that if there is faith,
i wish to see him again.
i wish he will always remember me.
i wish if there is miracle..

2010-10-31T07:01:00.000-07:00

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real.
Mad because I don't know how you feel.
Upset because we can't make it right.
Sad because I need you day and night.
Angry because you won't take my hand.
Aggravated because you don't understand.
Disappointed because we can't be together,
but still I'll love you forever.

took it from facebook.,
but still,
so true;D

art is life.

2010-10-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

just had my science tuition with ashley and jess;D
hmmm, nowadays reading a novel,
which entitled" Dear john"
i'm reading this not because i'm too bored,
it's just something so special about this book;D

the girl named, Savannah Lynn Curtis.
the guy named, John Tyree.
well, there's this part which i love the most.

it's a letter,
" i stare at the ranch as evening settles in.It's the first night of the full moon,and for me, the memories will come.They always do.I hold my breath as the moon begins its slow rise over the mountain, its milky glow edging just over the horizon.
She pauses and crosses her arms,glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one has followed her.Finallly, she seems relax.And then i feel as if i'm witnessing a miracle,as ever so slowly she raises her face toward the moon.And for the briefest instant,ir almost feels like we're together again."

GIVE PATIENCE READING.
anyway.
i want to dye my hair after SPM.
I can't wait.
and i want to buy a new plaid,
and some dress.

get ready to look different;)
good news huh.
since everyone start saying that i'm pretty;D
hahaha!!!;DD

or i'll put on lens,
so i don't have to wear spectacles?
but it'll probably need time to used to it.
cause to tell you the truth,
i'm not a fan of lens;D

I WANT A NEW SWIMSUIT!!
i can't wait to swim again.
like i want to dive in and feel the water brushing all over my body parts.
and like i'm in the world which is not related to the real one.

there's alot of bad things happened nowadays,
but still i'm strong to get over with.

oh.
and i like Taylor Swift's new song.
Last Kiss.
you should listen to that song,
it's so true and so real,
like i said,
Art is life, where life is art.

you know something,but still you choose to ignore.

2010-10-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

you know i don;t like being alone in a dark room.

you used to tell me,

think about everything bout you and me.

how we met,

how we became someone special for each other.

it did worked out;D

but now,

everything changed.

that would be a nightmare,

every night wishing that i won't be thinking bout it.

it hurts.

you know this would happen.

but you told me you choose to ignore.

you know you would leave me.

but you choose to lie.

i'm sensitive,

i know.

all i'm having is just pain.

when it's quiet.

it will be the worst moment for me.

because i miss you.

i know,

what's with you.

guiltiness.

i have no regrets,luckily.

2010-10-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

people always get what they wanted when they really putting effort in it.
I'm just the one of them;)

i got A for my moral and maths.
i have to admit that i was so happy when i got to know the news;)
so it's the same thing going round,
you give efforts,
that's what you deserved.

at the same time,
it's been a hard week for me.
my parents are not here with me,
while I'm still having trials.

but I get a chance to do something which i seldom do.
COOKING.
cooking is fun;D
you just have to take ingredients and cook whatever you like.
the best thing is ,
I am improving my cooking skills;DD
proud of myself;D

i must work out after trials,
thinking that my bones are harder and harder day by day.
i should swim again.
so that i can make my body flexible.
and let my mind clear at all times;)

i have to go and practice accounts,
since i always get a B for that dam subject.
guess i better get going.
before i regret,
once again;D

it's time to wake up.

2010-10-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

it's not the end.
being single,
is just so great;DD

hope my life won;t be lifeless anymore,
cause i'm gonna start adding color ;)

2010-10-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

Had a great time with my best friend,Choi Mun.

She called me this morning and said,

she wants to come to my house,

watch movie;DD

We watched drama,

the funny ones.

It's quite fun watching drama with friends,

trust me.

you will start to hate watching drama alone;D

She is the girl.

That i will always give support.

When there is any unfortunate happens.

Not because i love this friend the most,

it's just that the way she thinks,

every part of her,

is just like me.

We ate alot this afternoon while we were watching drama.

Wacky time;DD

it was raining just now.

great weather;D

and a perfect time to start wonder.

if there is a miracle.

it's just a temporary,

to let me forget the pain.

Its just a damn life.

2010-09-28T04:12:00.000-07:00

well, i really hate this.
but when you have everything,
you still nagging for getting,
to tell you the truth,
i really don't give a shit.

sometimes,i do feel alone.
and that really hurts.
it burns in my heart,
its like i am screaming with all my strength,
but it only left soundless.

true friends,true love,
i really can't see it.
the only thing i can see is,
my world is so cold and dark,
it doesn't mean that i have no one in my life,
it's just that,
you can't find passion in me,
not anymore.

well.
i guess i better get going,
going to have test tomorrow.
wish me luck.

when i smile,

it's just a mask that i pretend to be.

L.O.L

2010-09-24T03:29:00.000-07:00

hahhaa;DD
this is my dude, Jayden Liew.
He's been asking to blog bout him,
so here i am.

First time saw him,
a boy who has a charming smile like a small kid.
He is one of the reason that can make me laugh,
and he is the reason that made me want him,
To be my Best Friend.

We love to gossip.
Not bout bad stuff, the good ones:D
He even told me bout his childhood memories.
Sharing is really needed if you want a friendship strong right?

Well, i trust him.
Actually in a weird way.

He's the lunatic,
I'm the emotional.
So these two insane people,
will always be the best one for each other,
Bestie;DD

i know the guiltiness is you , the pain is me.

2010-09-21T03:08:00.000-07:00

I have to save the tears.
No more wasting.

Single life?
everything is back to usual.

uh.merdeka.

2010-08-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

Today is Merdeka.
obviously, holiday ;D
i was sleeping like a dead person.
feeling hugged by Him.
but a knock on the door ruined it all.
my mom came in and woke me up.

I had breakfast with my family,
as usual, i eat alot;D
my babe might be still sleeping,
so didn't plan to msg him.

after a few hours,
i sent him a morning message.
thanks to him,
i have a Bunch of nick names right now=.=
The first time he called me: Mushroom head.
Second, he called me: Sotong face.
Third , he called me: fatty Andd Flat.
Fourth, a little better, well actually worse,
he called me : elephant.
hehs. but i just love him playing around with me.
i supposed this is how we communicate right?;DD

well. i was planning to ask him out,
but he probably couldn't.
so just drop it and get over with,
although i'm a little disappointed.

Sometimes, relationship doesn't gives you happiness only.
it's not always the "honeymoon" period.
Sometimes. i even have to endure the loneliness.
And even sometimes blaming him for not caring much.

well.trials coming.
part of the subjects are handled.i think.
just a few subjects are a no-no for me.
so i guess i have to go study now.
in case I'll regret for something.
Effort is what i need.
I don want my results to be like a piece of trash.

There is no ample time for me right now.
Two weeks to go.
So ciao:D

So close.

2010-08-11T01:47:00.000-07:00

You're in my arm,
And all the world is calm,
The music playing on for only two,
So close together ,
And when i'm with you,
So close to feeling alive.
A life goes by,
Romantic dreams will stop,
So i bid mine goodbye and never knew,
So close was waiting, waiting here with you.
And now, forever i know.
All that i wanted to hold you.
So close.

So close,
to reaching the famous happy ending,
Almost believing this was not pretend,
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come.
So far,
we are,
So close.

How could i face the faceless days,
if i should have lose you?
We're so close,
to reaching the famous happy ending,
Almost believing this was not pretend,
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are,
So close,
So close,
and still so far.

bright:D

2010-07-05T03:00:00.000-07:00

YOU were right.

I'm not the emo type.

Cause imma sunshine.

That will always be by your side.

fragile.

2010-06-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

Today is a bad day.
Had a bad dreams lately.
Maybe is because my sisters not with me.

Dam.
The room is spacious enough for now.
Hate that,really.

As usual.
Helped my dad to do some stuffs.
Helped my mom to cook.

Haha.
Seriously.
Digging out the organs from the chicken is so sickening.
Giving my mom a clap.lol.

So tired.
I can barely open my eyes.
And my body temperature is increasing.
Okay.
Just a temporary fever.

For who-knows-how-many-hours later,
I woke up and felt hungry.
Had my dinner, My Favourite~~

Then Annita called.
She said she'll be coming to my house.
Cause Soniya is sick.
And probably not coming to tuition with us.

SHE'S SICK.
Honestly, I just felt so left out.
My best friend is sick.
And yet i don't know what;s going on.

What kind of friend am i?
Maybe she's right.
I don't see her.
Even she's just inches away from me.

I.L.Y.

2010-06-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

gosh..if my babe sees this.
he would be blushing all the way.<3

YES.he's mine already!!:DD
I'm glad the pain time has passed.
Love him at first,
it's like cutting my own heart.
Now.He loves me back.
I'm feeling alive.

OUR FIRST DATE;DD
No couple shirts.
No couple rings.
No taking pictures like others would do.
No romantic place for dinner.

BUT.
i have something more important than these.
and that's him.
Is okay that we're not wearing couple shirts.
Because we are already a couple.
Is okay we don't have couple rings.
As long as you still loves me.
Is okay we don;t have pictures of ours.
Because it'll be more later until i have to buy an album.
Is okay that having dinner in a simple place.
As long as i can see you,
That's the best place.best one.

I love the way we hold hands.
I love the way we hug.
I love the we kissed then blushed right away.

And most of all.
I Love You.

I really wish that.
You won't forget our promises.<3

helpless

2010-06-02T01:51:00.000-07:00

please help me.
i feel left out.
seriously..
I'm really a girl who lives in her own world.

all i can say is.

2010-05-11T03:59:00.000-07:00

get the hell out of my life.

cloudy day.

2010-05-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

I don know where to start but i'm really tired of seeing my family quarrels.
i'm so tired whenever i'm back home.
i have to look them quarreling again and again.
Mid term is coming soon.
i'm not prepared anything.
yet i'm still sitting down here and updating my blog.
HOW SMART I AM.

oh.another thing.
my bestie just set me a new name.
its----SOTONG FACE
hmph.
HATE HIM.XDD

nowadays i can't sleep really well.
cause my sister's friends stay overnight.
my house is no longer spacious.
so i have to be squeeze myself to sleepXD

p.s. I really do have a sweet smile??XDD

sick of it.

2010-05-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking bout you for so many days,
I've been asking everyone's help to make my day,
I've been doing the same thing the whole day,
and now,
I'm so tired.

My mind is blank,
All the memories about you and me,
Take all parts of me,
Makes me even more weary.

I know I'm avoiding,
But sometimes i just can't help it,
I have to talk to you,
I have to see you,
But this,
will make me feel afraid of getting hurt.

Loving in one side,
Not once, but twice,
Feelings have to hide,
when you talked about your precious,
Faking a smile,
That's the hardest thing to do.

I need a hug from someone else,
Never been so lonely,
Never been so cold,
I have to close my eyes,
Force myself not thinking about you,
And that,
makes me feel tired too.

taylor's lakeside campus

2010-04-28T02:31:00.000-07:00

TALYLOR'S LAKESIDE CAMPUS!!!!

ahh, I'm imagining my college life ALREADY!!
anyway, another fact.
I'M getting older now>.,<

well.
shall we take a look at the college??

I miss you.

2010-04-03T00:03:00.000-07:00

THE FEELING IS MISSING..

FRIENDSHIP THAT WE HAD.

I MISS CALLING YOU WHEN I WANT TO.

I MISS HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS.

I MISS THE LAUGHING OF US.

I MISS THE GUY WHO LOVES TO SING.

I MISS THE GUY WHO ONCE TREAT ME AS HIS BEST FRIEND, LIKE THE BEST.

I MISS THE GIRL WHO LOVES BEING CRAZY WITH ME.

I MISS THE GIRL WHO WILL SHARE HER EVERYTHING TO ME.

I MISS THE SMILES OF OURS.

I MISS YOU GUYS,

LIKE SO MUCH.

awkward.

2010-03-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD.

yes,really.

i don't know why i would mind that matter that much.

but it really bugs me alot.

it makes me feel like i'm in a world,

which is dark and clear,

and i'm alone facing it.

bad dream.

nowadays getting worse and worse.

i'm lost.

i don't know who am i anymore.

cause it's like.

gone.

just like old times.

2010-03-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

there.my two little buddies:)
Yee jin &Mai tan

X&Y:)

M&X

we're back.

the forever three.

my favourites:))

extraordinary face:))

forever.

my beloved.

2010-03-19T07:00:00.001-07:00

mommyyyyy!

(happy birthday!!!)

the babe's my mommy sunshine:)

"yer..shame shame eh..."

Another night.

mommy,me,my aunt:)

have you ever seen sisters being like this?+.+

te amo mom:)

a must.

2010-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

i want nobody nobody but you..(clap clap)
i want nobody nobody but you..(clap clap)

i've been listening to this song nowadays.
nobody sung by dream girls.
they look alike so i don't really know them that much.
i'm not their fan but i just love the song.

OR

super girl.
sung by super junior.
super junior's song is cool right now.
i like their music video.XD

spit out.

2010-03-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

i don know what's on my mind right now.
i don't know if he can see,
the possession of mine,
is like getting stronger and stronger.

i hate this so much.
when saw them together,
the very deep of my heart,
just hurts.

i don't know what's on her mind right now.
she's acting a little awkward these days.
she'll never pay full attention to me when i'm trying to say something.

i always the one who cares more,
even the others can see through me,
what about her?

i don know what's on his mind right now.
i suppose that he doesn't love his family at all.
if he still keep his mouth shut and not talk to us,
let it be.

cny XD

2010-02-28T23:57:00.000-08:00

i'm glad you know.
when they smile, i feel i'm alive.

i'm drunk=P

chi yan babe!!

the awesome threeXD

hee~

boom!

awesome eh?XD

don't forget why you smile

2010-02-11T06:04:00.001-08:00

this is the last year in school.

when you have the chance to smile,
give it to your dearest friends.

when your crazy peeps are around.

you just can't hide your white teeth.XD

don't forget the promises we made.
the words that carved inside our heart.

everything that we shared.

that what it's worth.

never feel down.
never let the friendship fade.

big smile with best peeps.
the memories of our love for each other.

the best in my heart.

friends who always reach out to me,

when i really need it.

and because of them,

i feel that i'm needed.

the best in me.

a big smile!

8.52p.m.

2010-01-12T04:52:00.000-08:00

i have nothing to do right now.
so i think i need to type??
hee~~XD

just finished doing maths homework.
trying to make the exercises looked neat.
cause if i don't do it.
i bet Pn.Liew who is so fussy,
keep nagging non-stop until i've gone crazy.XD

happiest thing!
did some revision for maths chapter 1.
i got 39 correct out of 40 questions!!
wondering if i can do that when SPM.

yes.
S.P.M
i'm dead. so dead.

anyway.
quit those worries.
it will make me look older.
and if i keep mention about that,
i think i may get killed at any time.XD

oh ya.
english aural.
scholarship?promote myself?
how?
it's kind of odd that you promote yourself.
how good i am?how smart i am?
bullshit.XD

besides.
everyday is bright and shine,
when there're my friends,
smiling upon me,
showing their white teeth whenever they see me.
i just feel goodXD

i think i have to update my movies collection.
i bought twilight.
i think i want to buy new moon.
don hate me.
i know i'm a vampire freak.XD

okkayy.
i have to do some massaging.
for my sexy old mama.XD

#TA#

usual thing

2010-01-12T03:14:00.000-08:00

i'm still new to the fact that i'm 17 years old already.

i'm doing things which i have to do.

and i really hate being like this.

studying always.

honestly.

i don't really like to sit in front.

so insecure.

so stress.

i want to talk to him.

but there's something there that can never changed.

maybe it will better in time.

friends are really hard to hold on.

i can't read minds.

so don't let me know the ugly side of you.

cause it hurts.

there may be something has gone.

but if you really feel it,

it will never fade away.

cause it's always in your heart.

and tell me.

if you can hear the tears dropping.

this is it.

2010-01-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

ahhhhhh~!!!

2010

i'm ready for the next challenge.

XD

2009-12-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

christmas coming!!

going to celebrate with mun yi and chi yan.

if chi yan would come,

that will be great.

i would apologize if i hurt you.

but please do understanding the fact.

another word.

girls night.

and..

maybe i would go to meet you soon.

i bought a present for you.

a girl who born on 25th.

yes you, annita!!

and perhaps i would meet him someday eh??

justin and all??

jess~~

i'm not that kind.

2009-12-09T06:51:00.001-08:00

if you have to ask me about love.

i have to tell you,
i have no faith in it at all.
i'm not kind.
i mean if i don want it,
i mean it.
if i have a chance always,
i prefer to be your friends always.
if i have a chance to get away,
i just leave without turning back.
if you want know that i have a heart,
don ask,
cause you'll see its hard.
some people don have to take this topic always,
cause it seems so lifeless.
if you ask me hang out,
definitely with friends but not you.
you asked me if you're an ignorant,
i would give you a reply
"leave me alone."
if you wanna talk,
don call.
p.s.you're the guy who said i belong with you.
but you're the guy that i never want to have.

2009-12-07T05:22:00.000-08:00

okay..i think my blog is really dead.
i dont remember for how long i didn't update my blog.
but i have one reason.
i went for a hong kong trip for five days.
so you can feel like i'm disappeared all in sudden.
i can't bring my phone there.
its really inconvenience if i wanted to contact my friends.
and i have to thank you all those wishes.
it's really warm my heart.
but the main point is..
i'm going to share my enjoyment in hong kong.XD

awesome three!!

first place in macau.

this is the place where"boys over flowers"shown. lucky meXD

Disney land!! same heightXD

mickey mouse is everywhere in the train.

all those famous characters in disney romance.hahXD

merry christmas!!

had a ball!

a day with "mama"

2009-10-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

place:mid valley

P.S. she's just my bestieXD

competition

2009-10-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

exams over!!

since exams over already,

we had a dodge ball competiotion today.

that was freaking awesome!

unfortunately there is some condition that we have to go through.

while we compete with the other class, the judges,

who is so close with the class which we compete to,

is cheating.

i suppose the ball is ours but the judge said is their ball.

and for the dodge ball rules, we must not hit the upper part

and that's not considered as out.

but when they did it, the judge said to us

"you're out!"

so the next round,

they did the same,

so we just did the same to them

not cheat,but to argueXD

so..we won!!

and we're way up to final

i'm so high and mighty!

hee~~

breathe.

2009-10-14T01:43:00.000-07:00

my parents finally came back from shanghai for a vacation.

for the past few days,

the home is quiet and i'm alone.

always.

sisters went to school or watever it was.

the first time parents not here to take care of us.

leave us three to take over everything.

plus, having exam,

there's so much insecure.

health is getting weaker.

cooking skills of my sister

just you will give her a cross.

day by day,

taking care of myself is like having a lesson to me.

i gave all the strength

not to let myself fell down.

and now.

no more odd feelings.

parents back.

i can breathe,finally.

breathe.

my dark chocolate is in my hand.

hee~~

welcome home.

so-called-holiday

2009-09-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

selamat. hari raya. er...don't know how to sing alreadyXD.

oh well.

no school for tomorrow and next week.

guess what?

everyone was bumped in and say

"holiday's coming.study together?"

"you wanna hang out.you know i'm okay with that."

"so wat's your plan for next week holiday?"

woah.woah. hold on.

exam is coming so..

of course i choose to study at home=D

and.

i have to finish my sivik project.

my sivik teacher has been nagging for..

four months??

oops!

choi mun,mun yi and pey rong is coming to my house to finished that.

and the good news.

soniya and annita is coming to my house to study!

hurray!

stress is a bad thing,eh?

well.i still have to study hard to get good results.

or i'll just get kick out

(ooooo,my butt,butt,butt)!!!

so long never talked to my primary friends.

ahh~~the old times.

anyway.after exam is over

i can see them.

and one thing good bout us.

we will have alot of topic to talk

for not contact each other for a while.

and perhaps have a reunion party?

woo~~sounds interesting.XD

heart attack

2009-09-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

it's really a disgusting movie.

don't eat when you watch this.

yet it's really interesting.

i love it.

happy belated my dear!!

2009-09-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

my dear soniya~!!

happy sweet sixteen!!

all wishes i just gave you in school adi so i don't have to mention here.(lazy to write!!)

anyway.

i love you.

always.

2009-08-22T04:11:00.000-07:00

G.I.JOE

another 24 hours action movie.

great.=D

next.

i wanna watch orphan

listen.

2009-08-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

i'm so sorry being so bad tempered nowadays.but.please stop the nagging, and keep you self-centered attitude away. i want to disobey you once more. i want to do what and please do not order me to make up things for you. i could not stand all the expectations and hope that you gave me.i'm tired of making you satisfied and like a puppet walking behind your tails.

i'm so sorry for not all those greetings.but. that doesn't mean that i'm arrogant.are you really looking at me?what do you see?what do you know exactly?all those misunderstanding..stupidness..backstabbing..you tell me what is that hell for?stop your fake smiling in front of me. and i don't give a damn on that.

to:someone
i would not say who is it.but friend,no offence.i'm not trying to cover anything and telling you bullshits but let me tell you something.do you really love her?do you really want to fix up your friendship with my girl?i don't see your moves.your motivation has harmed J's feelings.J was so emo because of you. and you just turned away from her and choose to believe all those rumours. your action has showed that you choose to be her enemy.you said J has changed, so were you, i can tell. i don't think she's your best friend.because you don't believe her AT ALL and you don't deserve to be her sister either.look at her.what do you see?why don't you just do the first step and stand beside her.do you really want to leave her because you hate her friends?this is all the stupid excuses.why don't you just be strong and make the right step?

all the anger, frustration were really get on my nerves.

last.
take it or leave it.
your choice.

well..

2009-07-25T04:23:00.000-07:00

this is for h****.

first, he likes to mention about my"senget" haircut.

second, he likes to irritates me while i'm doing something serious.

third, he likes to show his sexy body moves in class.which just like form 2 time.

fourth, he likes to show his temper to the others which i'm not afraid at all.

fifth, he likes to tempt me with foods.

sixth, he likes to insult me when he's bored.

seventh, he likes to laugh at my "big head".

eighth, he likes to gossip about some teachers.

nineth, he likes to show his "lc" look.

and tenth finally, he has face problem.

but so?

he's my friend.

the one who always cheer me up at the right time.

although he's so annoying.

yet i'm used to it.

he don't lie, which i like about him.

he don't fake, which he likes about himself.

he has a charming smile when we crazy around

i mean we just like the best buddies.

although he showed his temper always,

yet he didn't say something mean.

he likes to make the class cheerful,

he likes the same thing i like.

i mean we do have some common interest.

he is not selfish and arrogant.

he would care other's feelings.

he has responsible.

he loves his family which he always mention about them.

he loves himself, which everyone should do that.

he has the intention to make me crazy,

yet i used to be angry.

although he said something which would hurt people,

yet he apologize and no hard feelings.

we are one gang,

and we love to chasing around, playing around..

we love to bang each other's butt.

which we love and enjoy to do that.

no doubt.

is always a new life everyday.

without him,

our class just like dead people.

he respects me.

his temper same as me.

which i seldom showed.

well.he is my best friend.

and i always know,

he is not always happy all the time.

which sometimes i can see the loneliness in his eyes.

he doesn't emo.

which he never showed in front of his friends.

what i want to say is.

when he is lonely or any rough patch he must go through

just look beside,

and i'll be there for him.

don't judge him by his appearance,

like i've always said.

this is for you, my beloved idol.

2009-07-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

once, he said:

"people think they know me, but they don't.not really.actually, i am one of the loneliest people on this earth.i cry sometimes, because it hurts. it does. to be honest, i guess you could say that it hurts to me."

then he said:

"well, you don't get to do things that other children get to do, having friends and slumber parties and buddies. there were none of that for me. i didn't have friends when i was little.my brothers were my friends."

"and i remember going to the recording studio and there was a park across the street and i'd see all the children playing and i would cry because it would make me sad that i would have to work instead."

his obsession for his childhood memory..

he said:

"they did it to try and belittle me, to try and to take away my pride.but i went through the whole system with them.and at the end, i-i wanted the public to know that i was okay. even though i was hurting."

when someone getting jealous of his success..

then he said:

"before i would hurt a child, i would slit my wrists."

when the molestation rumours all around...

he said:

"why can't you share your bed?the most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone.it's very charming.it's very sweet.it's what the whole world should do."

when he started to have someone in his life..

then he said:

"i have a skin disorder that destroys the pigmentation of my skin, it's something that i cannot help, okay?"

the frustration in his heart for those critisizer about his skin...

he said"

"because i wanted to have a place that i could create everything that i never had as a child.so, you see rides. you see animals. there's a movie theater."

when he built a place named "neverland"..

then he said:

"it's a complete lie, why do people buy these papers?it's not the truth, i'm here to say.you know, don't judge a person, do not pass judgement, unless you have talked to them one on one.i don't care what the story is, do not judge them because it is a lie."

when the reporter trying to take his pride away once again...

he said:

"yeah, wacko jacko, where did that come from?some english tabloid. i have a heart and i have feelings. i feel that when you do that to me. it's not nice."

when he was trying to gain some respect..

he said:

"i'm happy to be alive, i'm happy to be who i am."

when he started love himself more...

lastly he said:

"i just want to say to fans in every corner of the earth, even nationality, every race, every languange:i love you from the bottom of my heart. i would love your prayers and you goodwill, and please be patient and be with me and believe in me because i am completely, completely innocent."

when his words made millions of fans cried out loud...

who's that?

yes.

he is -- Michael Jackson

a couple joke.

2009-07-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

A couple was dining with friends.
During the dinner the husband kept saying nice things such as
"Sweetie, please pass me the salt"
or
"Love, would you be so kind as to give me some bread"
After a few minutes the wife had to excuse herself.
At that moment, the friend said
"I am really impressed by how sweetly you refer to your wife.
And the husband answered in a low voice
"Yeah, it's because i forgot her real name five years ago."

just like the water gun

2009-07-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

Friday.

it's a day that everyone act in like quiet and peace.

the class was still as noisy as usual.until the malay period..

we were so concentrated to teacher but something has interrupted.

the bell!

yes.

the bell rang.

that was some stupid practice after all.

after two hours, we went back to class and continued our studies.someone who is nosy kept insulting me while teacher was teaching.

he was telling me that tomorrow he is going to a place like paradise?

oh yea?

show me then.lol.

the best part is...

i was playing with him by using some "weapon" to splash water to each other.

we used those "weapon" as the water gun.

it was real fun!and we were all get wet.

i think that's the purpose of showing how sexy we are..lol!

anyway..just want to say that

we are the best posers ever in class.

tagged.

2009-06-19T04:31:00.000-07:00

1. The person who tagged you is:Isaac Ng
2. Your relationship with him/her is: Good friends
3. Your first impression of him/her is: unfriendly
4. The most memorable moments with he/she is:when we were being crazy
5. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you is:people
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...: keep punching his stomach!
7. If he/she became your lover, what should he/she improve that:his lc look.
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, what will you do: never be.
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:hs lc look.lol.
10. The most desired things you want to do for him/her now is:make him remember me always.
11. Your overall impression on him/her is:crazy dude.
12. The characteristic you love most about yourself:oh.i have no idea.
13. The characteristic you hate most about yourself:aha!no idea either.
14. The most ideal person you want to be is:never think of it.
15. For people who care and love you, say something to them:oh. love you too.
16. Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you:-
1.soniya
2.Jesslyn
3.suet yen
4.Xiao Lin
5.Diana
6.Zhung Zheng
7.Jelly
8.Yee Shern
9.Ashley Yong
10.Benji
17. Who is 6 having a relationship with?:me!(if you believe)
18. Is 9 a male or a female:female
19. What is 2 studying at the moment:trust me.she can beat you down easily when she studied.
20. Who was the last person you had a chat with:my mom
21. What kind of music does 8 like:Pop music
22. Does 1 have any siblings:yes
23. Is 4 single?:no longer.
24. What is the surname of 5:Tang
25. What's the hobby of 3:no idea.
26. Do 7 and 9 get along well:no.they don't know each other.
27. Where is 10 studying at:same school as me.
28. Say something casual abou your eyes: medium
29. Have you tried developing feelings for 2:no.
30. Where does 9 live:im not a stalker=.=
31. What colour does 4 like:pink
32. Are 5 and 1 good friends? / Do they know each other:not really.
33. Does 2 like 7:no way!
34. How did you get to know 8:since standard 5
35. Does 3 have any pets:i think she has?
36. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world:maybe.lol.
37. Are you sexy:if you wanna think bout me that way.lol!
38. What am I doing now:just quickly read through this tag and watch movie!

hoo~

2009-06-16T00:53:00.000-07:00

i saw new moon trailer..it's a wow.but among the four books, i hate the new moon most.so the movie?well.think about it first.still, i was obsessed with Transformer.

anyway..where are you, sonie?
please come to school before i go find you.

xoxo.

will...

2009-06-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

you break the curse..?
you get through rough patch..?
you get strong no matter what will going on..?
you love yourself and let the love continue...?
you trust yourself...?
you never give up...?
you give yourself some confidence...?
you try to fend for yourself from getting hurt..?
you try to give up...??

happy belated!!

2009-06-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

wakakakaa!happy belated, diana!!

i know this girl since i was in standard 5.

long friendship huh.

although we never talk to each other that often,

but still u're my daughter,

i'm your father.lol.

this girl was a crying baby before,

but then she just appeared as a strong, thoughtful girl.

things can changed.

so, these are the wishes i want to give you:

1. be good girl.

2.more work, dream less.

3.can be with him forever.

4.always happy and healthy.

5.may your dream come true.

p.s. love you always.xoxo.

love.

2009-06-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

what is love?

is there anyone knows about this magical and power word"love"?

neither did i.

human can be confused by this word.

love or like can make a very big difference.

i had this feeling before since i was in form 1.

i like this guy whom had a girlfriend.

when i saw him,i would run away.(seems like he's a ghost.)

when i passed by him in a writhing position, he would give some space for me to gone through this.

it was a long story.

very long.

but there was something between us.

whenever i peeked at him , i just realized he did the same thing as me.

whenever he was not there, the emptiness in my heart could be hard to heal.

rumours spread.he liked me.

was it a truth or just a lie?

day by day.he didn't showed up.

i've never seen him since i was in form 2.

i miss him. badly.

i was regret that i've never really confess my feelings to him.

it was late.

so when it was in form 4.

he appeared in front of him.

he saw me.

he remembered me.

he knew i was there and his reaction was just stared at me.

but when we passed by once again.

we are like strangers.

sometimes i would asked myself.

why am i so stupid and useless.

if i showed my actions clearly,things would not turned up like this.

sometimes i would ask myself.

did i really doesn't care if we being strangers?

i do care.

i won't let go.

things can be hard.

the road can be difficult.

but once i step on it, i won't turn back.

i'll count every step i made.

i'll appreciate it.

i don't care the rejection.

at least i put some effort to do this.

i solved something that bothered me.

it was a relief.

peace.

tagged.

2009-05-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

001.real name: Liang Xuan Yu

002.nickname: salty/sour fish

003.age: secret

004.horoscope: sagittarius

005.gender:female

006.elementary:kindergarden rose?

007primary school: yuk chai

008.secondary school: smk taman sea

009.college: not yet

010.hair colour: black

011.hair length: short

012.loud or quiet: both

013.sweats or jeans: both

014.phone or camera: both

015.health freak: absolutely not.

016.drink or smoke: anti of it.

017.do you have a crush on someone: not really.

018.eat or drink: both

019.piercings: don't know.

020.tattoo: never.

021.social or anti social: social

022.righty or lefty:righty

023.first piercing: don't know

024.first relationship: forgot

025.first best friend: soniya

026.first award: standard three(sports day)

027.first kiss: still have it.

028.first pet: dog

029.first big vacation: i don know.

030.first love at first sight: don't believe.

031.first big birthday: form 3 with friends.

032.first surgery: no.

033.first sport you join: volley ball

034.orange or apple juice: both

035.rock or rap: no.

036.country or screamo: country

037.NSYNC or backstreet boys: backstreet boys

038.britney spears or christina aguilera: both

039.night or day: night

040.sun or moon: moon

041.TV or internet: both

042.playstation or xbox: no

043.kiss or hug: both

044.iguana or turtle: turtle

045.spider or bee: anti of it.

046.fall or spring: spring

047.limewire or itunes: both

048.soccer or baseball: not really into it

049.eating:nothing

050.drinking: water

051.excitement level: zeroness

052.im about to: watch movie

053.listening to: hold you in my arms

054.plan for today: watch movie

055.waiting for: no one

056.energy level: zeroness

057.thinking of someone: no one

058.want kids: no

059.want to get married: not now

060.when: until i am ready

061.how many kids do you want: never think it

062.any name on the mind: no

065.mellow future or wild: mellow future

066.something you would never try: have to think of it first.

067.which is the better in the boy/girl you like(in future): a boy who believes himself

068.lips or eyes: both

069.romantic or funny: both

070.shorter or taller: taller

071.protective or caring: both

072.romantic or spontaneous: both

073.nice stomach or nice arms: both

074.sensitive or loud: sensitive

075.hook up or relationship: relationship

076.troublemaker or hesitant: maybe

077.muscular or normal: normal

078.kissed a stranger: no.

079.broken a bone: no

080:lost glasses or contacts: no.

081.ran away from home: might be

082.held a gun of knife for self defense: no. i use my hand.

083.killed somebody: if i'm in jail

084.broken someone's heart: might be

085.had your heart broken: yes.

086.been arrested: no.

087.cried when someone died: yes.im warm blooded person.

088.liked a friend more than a friend: yes.

089.do you believe in yourself: sometimes

090.miracles: yes

092.heaven: yes

093.when do you want to die: how do i know.

094.tooth fairy: does not exist..

095.kiss on the first date: no.

096.angels: yes.if i am a cartoon character.

097.is there one person you want to be right now: no.

098.are you seriously happy with where you're in life now: yes. very.

099.do you believe in god: yes. why not?

100.seriously is a long tag!!

finally..

2009-05-22T02:15:00.000-07:00

finallyyyyy....my exams is over! hurray!! celebraties is coming more..for those whose exams haven't over yet.i'll wait cha'..

oh god...

2009-05-15T08:19:00.001-07:00

exams!!!

one week more left!!

missing something...

2009-05-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

i miss jelly...
i miss doctor...
i miss the evil...
i miss fishy....
i miss kt....
i miss cc...
i miss hh...
i miss all of them!
and..i miss all the fun that we make!

in love..

2009-05-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

there is someone who is sooo...nosy in my classroom.haha. i don't want to mention who is it.he is always insulting me..i was just thinking maybe that's his hobby.don't judge a person by its cover..u can never judge him by his appearance(though his appearance was lc)haha.seriously..i can tell you that i'm falling in love with 4J.there is so much laughters around the class.and because of his wacky style....our class can always crazy all around.haha.i'm in love with this friend, in love with this class, in love with my life.

i know you're holding a pack of tissues .

wiping your sexy tears..

a letter to you..

2009-05-04T01:05:00.000-07:00

hey, its long time have not talked to you. i wanted to but its too hard to do it. you are becoming reserved and our distance are further day by day. sometimes i would think that maybe i'll just ditch my friends and stay with you and having fun all the times like we used to be.but that will not happen, right?i was just standing right in front of you, but you didn't see me.i was hoping that maybe at least you keep your promise, but there's always a dissappointment.i don't know since when you have forgotten all the vows that you keep.and i know that will not exist, ever.sometimes i would think that i looked like a fool, standing there and waiting for you. you never showed up, till i found you, you were talking to your friends and laughing all around. there is always a limit i can tell. i don't want to do this, but seriously i can't stand it. you were always my very best friend. but since things were gone too weird, so i have to leave you now.or if you need me, maybe i'm not there anymore or just not the same real me.

freedom

2009-05-03T03:26:00.000-07:00

this home is so restless.

there is nothing much to say about it.
anyway, mid year exam is coming soon, i'm nearly become a noob for studying this all shit things..
please.i need some place that is peaceful...
i'm in the bad mood now.extremely bad.