Santa Claus Is Coming To Town?:)

Its going to a Christmas day tomorrow;.so I guess it means that New Year's eve is coming. I don know if any people out there reading my blog , or observing me by using any internet access or whatever you call it, anyway just want to tell you guys that, my blog of style won't be my lifestyle anymore but all will be about food or maybe my working life:)


I might start to upload some tempting foods and all:) Well, have you guys ready for Christmas, exchanging presents , and have a meat feast? or perhaps making comfort foods , like sugar with egg whites, butter and cream , mix and whisk and there you go, some pastry going on eyh?:) or talking about the people you celebrating with, either friends or family. 

I promised one of my best friend, well she's not consider as my friend, cause she's me, my other soul:) , that I would write any poems that I have for her. I would not say every single day, but when the ideas of writing come, then I would present to her:) I know it;s a little too late, but at I start better than never right? oh by the way, I really miss her mash potatoes. I might go to her house to have it again:)

hello again

hello again:)
let me count how long since I've not been writing posts for blogs.
hmmm..very long XD
 nowadays, i watched all the music videos from this korean show,
it calls " scent of a woman"
its about a woman has diagnosed some dying disease, she quits her job and everything to spend her 3 months life to have a beautiful vacation.
then there's this handsome man she met in this vacation,
feeling something sparkling between both, something warm , something just..there.

well, imagine you're a person who is dying ,
will you risk yourself from being hurting yourself or hurting others thoroughly by falling in love?
falling in love is no wrong,
falling in love is not putting in prison.

yes,its painful that to be hurt in both sides.
but at least the pain that burns in heart,
is a reminder where reminds us the feeling that we used to have,
and the existence of the warmth and love.

hmm, enough for the nonsense,
today i just had my video commercial shooting for rough cut presentation.
I think this is the most productive stuff that I can ever do,
I'm the director of art and the script writer.
so when during the shot, my job is working with the photographer,
checking every scenes which is on my mind, and also have to demo all the actions infront of the casts.
how weary that could be?

and I think director's job is very very highly respected.
well it should be, but i just know that ,all they do is using their most "beautiful" voice and say
" camera rolling , floor silence, and action!"
well, after that, then" cut!" , what they do, is being as a boss, approve this approve that.
while the other position would be like worrying this and that and even do MORE than the director.
boss has the authority to have a better life and get treated nicely,
which i found its kind of unfair and almost ridiculous.
anyone is working? you would be willing joining me to curse them?:D

about handling the casts, i have to say that i chose wrongly,
shouldn't choose the ppl that are quite close to me,
because all they know is asking the time duration of shooting.
well, whenever they ask that i would feeling like banging my head to the wall.
how would i know the exact time as in like i can predict something.
and never ever skip from complaining.

aiks, well, i have no rights to say this, everyone has their own objectives and i have mine.
so when we view things differently, we judge things differently.

okay, enough for those craps,
right now staying at home alone,
facing the four-squared computer as in like im having interpersonal communication with it, haha.
didn't really get to eat dinner because fetched all the casts back home till 7 something already,
and knowing that my mom is not going to prepare dinner,
after all the sweats have no choice, got to bathe,
then watch TV for awhile and fell asleep, when i wake up its already 10,
so comes to conclusion, I don get to eatXD

okay, have to do assignments now,
the re-do assign since there are many groups hand up, and only one group passed.
life's is not going to be beautiful for you
so ciao:D

aint no more.

I am living in my own world , if now you ask me, that I'm happy or not.

I may and I may not. 
I"m getting sick of my own life, 
and trying find something still brings me up, 
to light myself up.
all by myself i guess? 
well, good to be dependent.
stuck a needle in my ass.
i can still feel the pain in hell, 
and smell the bloody scent.

happy birthday to you:)

hey you, happy birthday.
I really want to wish you today.
but i don have the guts.
where i'll remember everything happpened last year at the same day.

i don want to make anything more complicated.
not anymore.

movie time

my current favorite movie:)

FYI, favorite not because is something alike to my story,

but it just awesome:)

rate this 7.7 out of 10:D

movie time

who knows.

It's August.

summertime and rainy days at the same time?:)

happy birthday to all August babies!:D

oh, and him of course:)

just went back from somewhere and I think he had great fun there.

met some new interesting friends of course.

I hope he's fine and everything's fine.

hmmm..

the piano exam is coming very soon.

It's gonna be on next Tuesday.

venue is at Shah Alam Wave Blue Hotel.

I don know how to describe how I feel.

but yet what I know is,

I'm really want this so much.

to finish what I've started.

I remember when I was a kid,

I don't really know what piano was really for.

not when I saw my sister playing it,

sounds came out rhythmically,

that's the time when I know the real purpose of it.

It's for entertainment ,

or you can say accompaniment for singing.

I can say it's my " emotions releasing machine".

when I feel something,

my hands just want to touch the surface of the keys and press it.

"ding.." there, the sound just produced.

when I feel angry,

the tone is more to a mess, untidy, rushing and fast tempo.

when I miss someone,

every beat of it is like flowing water,

played like Chopin.

I really hate and like playing at the same time.

well, it's common.

no perfection exists in this world,

not you want to be an alien, or robot or some creatures heh:D

I see things more,

and learn understanding, explaining, valuing.

people always remain good or focus,

when they discovered something that is not what they expected.

and when they discovered , like finally.

they just let the final results freeze,

and never ever bothers it.

this same goes to human being behavior and act.

what I wanna do is,

i want to create something,

that makes great impact on other people's life.

at the same time on mine.

I want to create something unforgettable,

unpredictable,

add some mysteries alike teasers,

and something people will feel and agree.

I don't know what's my future is,

but what i know is,

when I'm asked to give some ideas and create something.

I just feel the whole world is magical and exciting.

my mind and soul right now,

completely hand in to my own future.

only this,

nothing else is on my mind.

which I'm glad:)

being stressed.

I'm really stress up right now.

every nerves in my body is like flowing vigorously.

I can't sleep well and even suddenly awake at late nights.

kind of bothers me that I have to face the biggest challenge.

I have face my fear,

which is my piano exam gonna coming soon in two weeks time.

I'm not really ready for it.

when I play it,

I don't feel it.

and when I feel to play it,

it doesn't sound like what it should be.

aiks.

this is completely a disaster.

plus, it's 8th grade.

I have to pass , and parents keep nagging and pressuring.

omg..

my head is going to burst burst burst..

gahee:DD

I love running,
so this is my favourite activity during my one month holiday:)
oh and my relationship with my old friend is getting closer.
I'm so happy:D

being fat is a symbol of happiness.
but the this is not the actual one, I think.
because for me,
being fat is a symbol of stress and not adapt to the new environment.

ahhhhhhh. Im a fatty now, haha:DD

Hello again

I'm currently preparing for my end term exam.

I hate myself doing this,

because I will become the version of ignorant and depression of myself.

stress is what I have right now.

But it keeps me working ahead, so I guess I have no authority to take that awayXD

My friends would be thinking that they were not really cherished.

Well, that's not true.

Business is the problem so I don think I can explain much.

Another thing, I hate explaining.
Well I don't mind unless you have the heart to accept what I say.

If you don't, sorry to say.
I don't give a damn.

Hectic life as usual,

not only for me, for people, human being, whatever:D

It feels good to do something that you never done once in your life,

and learn something that almost unbelievably incredible.

EEk, I don't like facebook.
Hate it.

NO privacy, hate it.

It's like you want to have a simple conversation with your friends,

the whole world know the contents .

Isn't that a little interfering other people's business?

I guess I might wanna date guys who can make pastry.

Just joking, finding some way to learn to bake though.

I find cupcakes intriguing when I watched D.C cupcakes at channel 711.

It was like so tempting.

Plus, I want to learn how to do sushi.

I made it once in Guo Zhang's house ,

now I've completely forgot how to do it.pffft.

okay okay.

I don't know why I'm still posting up when I should be studying.
well now, it's time to say goodbye.

and round 2! I'm coming:)

end term's coming soon.

I'm so nervous right now.
i hope that i can score out of what I expected.
I'm going make myself proud and never fail.
Strive to the end baby!

Woots!

wish me luck

tomorrow is the day.
going to have my driving test.
what i need is a little bit of luck,
and i'll do at my very best:)

this time,
i have to pass my driving test,
this time, for sure.

god bless me,
let things happen in flow,
without any obstacles.

and yea,
im going to boost up the confidence,
i haveto know what im doing,
and i have to know,
i am the one who control the car,
not the car make me nervous and acting stupidly.

woosh! kampade!

may is spring.

yea, it's may now.

it means spring,

hot weather but a friendly one, i think.

national service is activated by this month i suppose.

and this makes him going there for 3 months.

3 months of practice is going to be fun,

you're going to love it, because i know you will.

i saw Chris back then ,

he was tanner than before and more muscular,

so i was wondering, will you become a real man when you return from there?

try not to fall sick,

have a strong will to keep everything in flow.

and yea,

i really wish that you're happy there,

and i know you'll make some new friends.

this also means that there are not only guys but girls too:)

you know what?

i've never been so satisfied when i get to do things with my own will and act.

i helped my friend for a video shooting,

which i became a camera woman.

it's like a magic, when you handle a camera,

you see things differently and clearer.

im really happy to do something that i never done before.

and my english assignment was a great success.

my lecturer mostly gave me positive feedbacks.

for all my hardwork, worth it:D

i miss you, i still do.

people always say that , time is all matters.

yea, it is,

it's like a test for us, and i do trust destiny.

i believe one day,

we will meet again,

and when we meet,

i wish you will give me the most beautiful, spontaneous smile:)

english assignment 3

so, tomorrow is the day:]

my third english assignment , presenting claims.

for the past three events, i just keep getting 6/10.

it's very frustrating because when you get to know that your standard remain the same,

it means you can hardly have space for improvements:/

so, i'll be praying hard this time.

i really really want some improvement,

please let everything happens in flow tomorrow.

i don't want any errors occur or distractions.

i have to boost up my confidence and speak in front of my classmates.


gahh,, stage fright is one of the disasters.
my class are way too much pressures.
all genius , and you ain't gonna beat them.
very competitive eyh? tell me who doesn't:)

i miss my old life,
im getting fat, omfg.
like a pig right now, but in a good way,
why would i care when there's no one officially likes me?
don't you feel happy when you eat?
i do:)

im gotta practice my presentation,
and try to organize as much as i can.
ciao!:D

love is never ugly

have you watched beastly?

i know it's like the past century disney movies"beauty and the beast."

but hey, i still want to watch.

i want to see the spell casted.

i want to see how the girl fall in love with the guy.

i want to see how the girl can bear with the ugliness which the guy has the appearance of a beast.

i want to see how the spell break.

and yes, happy ending?

but truthfully,it does happens in our lifes too. people are realistic , not just human being but also kinds of creature. do you really fall in love with someone who's ugly, sometimes, i myself dare not,but who knows? some people in this world still love the inner side but not only for the appearance. it's about the faith and destiny. well, with that fact, i'm quite in mist. do you?looking forward to watch this movie, with my friends:)

i was wondering how's your life and what you've been doing.

i'm doing good and always stress about my paperworks.

it's been a long time i didn't talk to you.

i don know how long is that but it's like half of the year that we don even say hi.

i don't expect anything special happens and i don't want to make you feel guilty.

im actually healed.

i don't plan to have a new one.

a pure friendship is now im finding for.

i feel peace and free.

you should find one who can actually gives you happiness.

i will wish you with all my heart.

i miss watching dramas and movies.

i miss having sports.

hectic life eyh?

not such a good idea.

damn tiring!!

live high, live mighty, live righteously.

this is what i've been telling myself:)

i should stop living in your world.

i should let go for what i can hardly keep.

you did the right thing:)

as long as you feel happy.

that wont hurt me that much.

My Love

My love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

leave you blind.

My love,

you have found peace,

you were searching,

for relief.

you gave it all,

into the call,

you took a chance and,

you took a fall for us.

you came thoughtfully,

love me faithfully,

you taught honor,

you did it for me.

tonight you will sleep for good,

you will wait for me my love.

now i'm strong,

you gave me all,

you gave all you had,

and now i'm home.

My love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

leave you blind.

my love,

look what you can do,

i am mending,

i'll be with you.

you took my hand,

added a plan,

you gave me your heart,

i asked you to dance with me.

you loved honestly,

did what you could release.

i know in peace you go,

i hope relief is yours,

now i am strong,

you gave me all,

you gave all you had,

and now i am home.

my love,

leave yourself behind,

beat inside me,

i'll be with you.

Xuan Yu's birthday party

so long

i miss you.

do you?

the devil inside calling

doop.doop.doop.

as the clock is moving, i wish i have the super power to make it stop.

i was waiting for the malaysian studies exam to start.

first section, second section and the fourth section is is okay with me but the third one , im not so sure.

well well,

it was actually better than moral education.

well, after all the exams,

i still have some important stuff in hands,

i have to finish my malaysian studies and moraleducation assignments by this end of march.

i was freaking tired man.

okay okay,

i think im very lazy to blog now.

i should get going.

watch anime:DD yeah:D

pumping.

do you know driving can make human's blood circulation flows in speed way?

yeap, the fact is so true.

whenever i was driving,

my tension and confusion increase in no time.

and that makes me nervous and kept me sweat all the time.

it was 3 o'clock afternoon.

my teacher drop by at my house,

he lead me drive on high way,

OH MY GOD. first time driving on high way.

it was actually thrilling but yet scary.

hmmm. the clutch thing is actually driving me crazy.

the gear just can't co-operate with the clutch fluently.

well, whom i'm going to blame for ?

i just have to get the driving skills practically.

okay. so i was driving,

the teacher beside me keep talking and instructing me what to do.

i followed and it was good at first.

but looking at the other cars driving ,

it makes me feel stupid.

the worst was, i got horned by some other idiots who don't understand at all.

alright then, i just have to take practice and practice with the clutch thing and all.

bear in mind,

you just have to deal with the impossibilities.

oh, today's Chei Ling's birthday.

i need to apologize that i didn't get to celebrate with you since i promised you that i will.

well, still i hope you be a happy-go-lucky person at all times:)

have a blast!!:D

p.s.youknowilovedyouandnowistilldo.

do you knoe me?

hello, stranger.
since you say hi in sudden but still you're a stranger to me.
i talked to you for a few minutes, it didn't mean that we really know each other.
a true friend doesn't have to be in this way.
well, it makes me feel disgusting somehow,
despite i talked to you in normal way just don't make you suspect anything wrong,
but i'm just feeling escape is the only way.

you keep saying: so erm, do you wanna come out and meet up?
haih.. a guy friend is good. but it seems like meeting up a stranger is such danger,
i don't want myself to take risks,
and don't want my friend worry about me.

so i choose to ignore.
the first thing i do is,
* run, run , run , run ,run..
* devil run run devil run..
hahha:DD


okay, finish laming.
and release something that bothers me is somehow soothing:)

well well well.
i think my blog is officially dead.
BUT i want it to be alive again, hehs.

I'm relieved that media appreciation's assignment is done.
i was thinking of taking some break but there are more is coming up.
i'm tired and it's actually great because you're not wasting your time to do something reckless.
I listen John Meyer and Taylor's Swift's song nowadays.
their genre is almost similar, that's why i love them so much:D
And thanks to Zoe, I'm one of the Anime fans. hmmm, Maid Sama is great.

I was heading somewhere that i'm not used to be.
and there are times that i want to turn my back but that is why people saying" keep looking forward."
i miss my friends , not only primary ones but also secondary ones.
i was wondering what they are all up to.
i can hardly remember every single memories with them but happiness is the only thing i found.

oh. i;m getting fat.
i just don't understand why foods are so tempting that makes everyone wants more.
when people talking, the thing i only do is eat eat eat:DD
but eating is good, stress released.

okay, finished babbling something lame.
just feel typing,
and now i guess it's time to do my another assignment which is the Intro to mass com.
aiks, once again,
college life is sucks.

p.s. iwanttotalktoyoubutwhereshouldistart. i wish you know what I'm trying to say.

help me

give me a break.
please? I'm weary till can't feel myself.

you know what?

I feel pleasant when i hand up my first assignment-English.
well, i wish i can get good marks from Mr.Antoon:)
first thing first, i have to talk about my class.
well, my classmates are always in a hyper mood and wacky at all times.
their favorite is camwhoring i suppose.
so you can see that i have bunch of pictures in my facebook profile.
but taking picture with new friends are great:)
well, mass communication can teach a person to be sociable.
telling the truth that i'm not really good at it but at least when i try, i really do learn how to social.
one of my classmates, Charlie.
She's smart, gorgeous, observant and funny. She's very kind to you when sometimes you feel helpless at something.Never say she's pretty, because she'll be blushing straight. ain't doubt that the face is as red as tomatoes:D

another new friend, Diandra.
She's random, pretty, winsome, and can be lame sometimes:)
She's very tall, taller than me. well i used to be the tallest girl in my class when im in high school but i just can't deny that her height made my life miserable:D
oh and her close friend, Chia Syin.
She's like Diandra, so friendly. and when you look at her, the only thing you can see is a girl with spontaneous smile that can made your day:) oh, she's an awesome photographer too:D

hey hey. you there?
if you're there, i wish that you can see i'm moving on well:)
and one more thing,
i wish you live your life to the fullest,
since you're nowhere that i can see,
i still wish you are happy,
because that's what matters to me:)

you love a person doesn't mean you have to own them,
that's what im saying:)

assignments

The first assignment that we really have to pass it up in two days time- english.
pfft. My english teacher is a weird guy i have to say. Everything that comes out from his mouth is rather weird and somehow we get annoyed. Everytime when we finish his lesson, the first thing that popped out is " what was he saying just now??" * give a noob face*

The second one is my favorite overall, Media Appreciation.
talking bout the video takings, and about movie reviews and lots more.

I'll be busy i know.
But still i can't and won't forget about my friends.
Cause they're the most precious one to me.

and even him.
no matter how busy i am, i'll still thinking about you.
which is one of the impossibles for you to do the same:)

grown up?

To tell you the truth, i don't really get used to this new environment.i know i have repeated this several times but yet i just want to release it out.

i heard some people say that " if you can't forget the old ones, how are you even deal with the new ones?" it's not all bout you can or not, it's about you want it or not.Sometimes, i even asking myself that whether i can deal with the new friends, deal with the new environments, deal with the surroundings. can i really manage to do well in taylor's university.can i really play with my old friends like last time instead of meeting up new friends. uggh, i hate that "old" word.

anyways, i miss Soniya. my high school the most wonderful indian girl. she's working at the law's company now i suppose. i can hardly contact her and know her updates. Life is always playing people's faith.

i miss playing games and hanging out with my friends. now i'm currently starting my two assignments which is moral education and malaysian studies.

assignments need a lot of group work and stuff and i don't know whether i'm picking someone right to work with. i just want to get good grades and don't want to let my parents down , and the main is don't wanna waste money.

silence is what i'm doing now, i just can't feel myself. i'm lost now.

what i need is a big hug and some rests.

actually..

college life.

SUCKS.

it's fun

it's fun actually.

when you start facing your first assignment.

i believe that will cause my face growing more pimples.

but i have to say that,

my classmates are people who is just like me.

funky. happy. crazy. love games.

we get to know each other very fast.

introduction comes first,

then there's alot of talking going on.

well, i have to say.

great life.

still finding some good friendship in college:)

you know, that's what it calls.

eyes pain.

it's like something burnong inside,

when i close my eyes,

more worse:/

so nowadays busy about college.

had one week for orientation.

next week starts our programme.

finally:)

but i'm still not get used to the surroundings.

new people, new place, new friends.

imagine you're alone facing all this.

and sometime when it comes to introduction.

there is awkward moment i suppose.

but anyway,

i really have to get used to it eventhough im scared.

because this is the place i may spent 4 years.

yeah, four years.

it's good to start anyway,

there will be more paper works,

that keeping me busy all the time,

and i'm ready to take any challenges.

and do the best that shows initiative and leadership:)

good!

add oil:D

just wanna say hi.

and wanna know how do you do:)

weeee.

hehs.
i shop for clothes more than one.
bought new clothes,
bought new shoes,
give my hair a haircut and dyed,
everything changed:)

ready to say hi to 2011.
and ready to go for college:)
and i really have to drive,
soon:)

oh oh,
new year's coming ppl:)
have a blast in everyday:D

i wish i can celebrate with you in new year's eve,
which another impossibles:)

busy is real good.

nowadays being busy about the driving lessons.
my dad keep nagging me,
so i have to take it and complete it as fast as possible.

another hand for college.
I'm choosing foundation in mass communication.
this one will be using one year to finish.
although is a short time to degree.
but must have lots of efforts and will be rushing all the time.
and all the projects, course work and all,
will be making me busy,
which is very suitable for me.
clear my mind, is what i have to do:)

and.
i'm taking back my piano class now,
my teacher told me that i have to speed up.
cause its the last grade and have to be serious.
the exam is coming soon,
so its hard and need more hard work.
similarly, my teacher told me that i have to take double class.
so, yea.
how pathetic it is:D

hmmm..
guess what.
everytime when i sleep,
there's no more dreams occurs.
well, rarely.

cause i'm so tired,
just thinking of sleeping will do but no others.
but sometimes i really wanna chat.
ask that if you're happy or getting well.
but i know,
deep in my heart,
i can't find any possibilities.
and this is it,
i'm still moving on.

i missed you,
cause i can't find a place where i can see you anymore.